Not. Now.

People come and go they say but there is one person who will come and stay but does he really stay?

It always make me worry everytime I heard about people dying and leaving his/her partner alone. To think that the person who has been with you for a very long time, who has cherished you and love you and make you feel like you’re a queen has died. It is the most painful thing ever. I guess it would be much more easier if he just cheated or find another woman right? And it all makes you wanna go with him too on the next phase of his life but you know he wouldn’t be happy if you do “that”.

What’s harder about this is that you gotta learn to live your life without him. You sleep alone. You eat alone. You drive alone. No one will remind you to eat on time. No one will hear your dramas at night. No one will go watch your favorite movie with you. No one will hug you when you feel cold. No one will put a blanket on you when you fell asleep. No one will protect you at night when you walk alone. No one will buy your food when you get hungry at the middle of the night. No one will tell jokes when you’re upset. No one will get mad when you wear clothes that are too revealing. No one will fetch you at work. No one will ask about how your day went. That all the things you do together, you gotta learn to do it all ALONE and you have to get used to it. You will surely miss him and the things you do together and even the things that he does that annoys you. You will miss everything and guess what? The hardest thing when you miss someone is when you can’t do anything about it.

Sometimes it all makes no sense. Why a person spent the rest of her life with the person she love and make them feel like they are on top of the world and then fate comes in and then voila! At just one blink, everything has gone and it all comes down to, “Why the fuck did it happen to me?”

What’s more worst is that even younger people experience this. With only such a little time of happiness and it will all be gone. Is there some certain person who is destined to experience this? Or is it just FATE that fucks as all?

To the couples who inspired me to write this which I just wanna let those thoughts out in my little brain, I wish you’ll be happy soon and maybe find the reason why it did happen to you. Rest in peace to your partner and God bless you!

Just like the movie says, there are small and big infinities and I wish that I will have a SUPER DUPER ULTRA MEGA ‘BIGGEST’ infinity with my love.


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