We were bestfriends since we were kids.
We know almost everything about each other.
You know how much I love oceans,
And I know how much you hate it when I go there
Because you were scared that I would get drowned.
Remember when we enter college?
Our classmates thought we were couple.
We even became muse and escort in our section.
I told you, “That would be incest ’cause you were like a brother to me.”
And you laughed so hard as if it was the best day of your life.
Remember when I called you that night?
You ran ahead at my place right after you heard my cracking voice.
You knew something was wrong.
That was the first time I saw you get mad.
How foolish I was to get cheated by my first boyfriend.
Then I met a guy again.
You told me to be careful because you don’t want to see me crying again.
I said, “Trust me, I’m sure of this.”
But then months later,
I was crying again on your shoulders.
Time has passed and we hardly see each other.
I’m now living alone in the apartment and you’re seeing someone now.
As much as I want to be happy for you, I just can’t.
Because I easily get jealous everytime we’re together but you talk lots about her.
You even once cancelled our vacation because your girlfriend won’t allow you.
I was so mad at her for easily snatching you away from me,
You texted me saying we should meet up by the coffee shop along the train station.
I was so happy that I wore a dress, not my usual jeans and shirt.
I saw you sipping at your coffee and browsing your phone.
My heart leaps because after a lot of weeks, we’re finally together again.
You saw me and you waved your hand to me.
You gave me a puppy with the note saying,
“I’m going to be your companion because your bestfriend is getting married”
You were so happy, smiling from ear to ear, waiting for my reaction.
All I could do was to cry.
You asked me, “Is that happy tears?”
I thought you knew me so well. How can you not tell I am not happy?
But then I just laughed so hard as if it was the best day of my life.
To cover up the world that is crashing right in front of me.
Let me ask you once,
Have you ever fallen in love with me?
Has it ever crossed your mind that we could happen?
Because I do.
I always do.