Breakup Letter

🐢,

I can’t remember writing letters to you. It’s funny that this is the first time I’m writing to you, break up letter pa! We’ve been two years already and honestly, both of us didn’t expect that we’ll come this far. Who would’ve thought na magiging tayo eh wala naman tayong ginawa kundi mag-asaran lang noon? Remember that time na inaasar mo akong tomboy tapos sinasabihan kita na akin na lang yung girlfriend mo noon. From strangers to friends to bfgf and I think back to strangers again. Really, time flies so fast. One thing is certain, feelings change.

I don’t know how we ended up like this because seriously, we became toxic to each other. Maybe its because of my immaturity or maybe because its your insensitivity. Paano nga naman magwowork yun di ba? I can still remember those days when everytime we fought I search on google of signs on breaking up. This made me realize that its not enough that you just love each other. That it doesn’t take a third party, or falling out love for the couple to break up. Sometimes, its just that you feel that something is not right.

It made me realize that those little things I get mad at, piled up inside me, because I couldn’t let go of it, and suddenly they get bigger and bigger until I can’t handle it anymore. That’s the reason why I’m breaking up with you.

We were actually good. People even told us we’ll be a good couple because we started off as friends. We knew each other so well. We got comfortable to each other, and sometimes this is the reason why I get mad to you.

Those fights I picked, its not because I’m “tinotopak” like you always told me. Its because something is really wrong. I might jokingly suspect you sometimes but you know well that I trust you. I haven’t even thought of you cheating on me but those little lies you say is really something to me and you failed to realize that.

It saddens me to think that we’re going to be apart right now. I can’t even remember the life of being single. My heart is making excuses that maybe I just need a time off but is that really is? I know I have insist breaking up with you for a lot of times already, but after a few days, I get back to you again. Funny, right? I just hope that this will be the last time. And I won’t see myself running back to you again when I miss you. Because I know that nothing will change if I let you take me again for granted.

I don’t know if I’m ready for what could happen. What if you find another woman already? What if you forget me already? Am I ready for that? Am I ready to see you with someone else?

Right now, I’m thinking what weighs more, the pain you caused me or the happiness you brought to me? I’m thinking what are the reasons I’m mad at you and I came with 5 reasons. 1) You keep things from me. 2) You’re talking with other girls. 3) You always make me wait. 4) Sometimes I thought you don’t care about me. 5) You annoyed me. Funny reasons, right? Is that even a reason to walk away from two years relationship? I don’t know anymore. But can I accept any pain from you again?

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for saying all the harsh things a person could say. Sorry for being childish and immature. Sorry for easily getting jealous. Sorry for getting angry over stupid things. Sorry for nagging and whining. Sorry for my tantrums. Sorry for asking too much from you. Sorry for not understanding you and for not being there when times get rough. Sorry for wanting all of your time, attention and affection. Sorry for going through a hard time because of me. I know so well how burdened you are because of me. Sorry for all my shortcomings.

And for the last time, thank you for everything. I hope you know that I acknowledge every single effort you made for me. Thank you for all those years of being with me. Thank you for being with me through ups and downs. Thank you for encouraging me when I feel like giving up. Thank for all the gifts and libres you spent on me. Thank you for fetching me at school and going from Manila to Antipolo back to Manila again just to get me home safely. Thank you for eating with me and watching my favorites movies with me. Thank you for listening to my paulit-ulit na kwento. Thank you for teaching me to be brave so I learn how to bike. Thank you for letting me ride on your bike and biking at highways with me. Thank you for travelling with me and discovering new things. Thank you for being my inspiration. Thank you for loving me.

Thank you for making me realize that I have limits too.

I hope you’ll be happy and find rest from all the stress life gives you. We both know how cruel this world could be that’s why I’m asking you to just keep strong and don’t give up whatever dreams you have. I don’t know if I could ever love like I love you right now. I don’t even know if I could look to some other guys.

I love you and I will keep on loving you because I don’t want any other man than you.

Good bye.

xx

Friendzone #2

So I had a crush on this guy for almost 3 years. I was a new student back then and had a lot of problems when he came into my life. He is tall and handsome. All the girls would ever want. He plays soccer and he is so witty and happy to be with. It was love at first sight.

Fortunately, I became one of his friends Not just his friend, but someone he always rely on and confiding at. So I guess you already know what happened. Yes, I was being friendzoned. He already had a girlfriend when we met so I became careful not knowing that I already fell in love with him.

To make the story short, I promise myself not to interfere with them and I will just wait. Yes. I’ve waited for him for almost 3 years.

Time passed by and they broke up because that girl find another guy. Imagine! He dumped someone I’ve been dreaming of for years!

I wasn’t that happy when they broke up because he had changed a lot. He started smoking and he’s always crying. I always comfort him but every time I do it, I always feel he wanted to be alone. So I let him be.

Sadly, I was transferred to another section so we’re not classmates anymore. I haven’t heard anything from him but that doesn’t stop me from loving him. I heard he is now a working student. I also heard he’s courting someone already. Sometimes, I saw him but I always hide. I don’t know. It was so awkward.

Last month, we had a training for our career. Since we’re in the same field, we met again. I think the fate loves playing with me because we became partner for a project. He talked to me like nothing had happened or maybe its just me who’s been overthinking all throughout the time. So in short, we became friends again. I also had friends in the training and since he’s my partner I introduce him to them.

At the end of our training, we went to eat at Mcdonalds. It’s like the old times hanging around divisoria to look for cheap shoes and everything. It was all fun. I thought maybe this is the right time for us. I thought that maybe this is all I’ve waited for.

While we’re eating, he asked about my friend he had met in the training. He said she’s pretty and he thought that maybe he is ready to fall in love again. He even asked me to put some bridge for them like WTF.

And again, my world crashes.

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This is the poem I’ve made after that day.

 

So yeah, BYE